Big Cheese

On the sofa the other evening my partner, B, said:

"We have a Big Cheese coming to the office tomorrow. He's over from Texas. He has people in his office running around. He's huge. His head is yay big." 

And then she indicated with her hands something approximately the size of a beach ball. I was overwhelmed with love at this point. B can really make me laugh. She can use words sparingly and effectively and I appreciate that.

It transpires that The Big Cheese is an overachiever. Not only does he run an enormous international company but he's a medical doctor too. And he's got six children. He's a Russian American and had a name that goes in one ear, does a little tap dance and then exits stage right. Overachievers make me puff out my cheeks and expel air slowly while shaking my head at the same time, thinking: "how do they find the time, maybe time works differently for overachievers".

I later thought: "wow, from B's description, I would really be able to pick this guy out at a party". But I guess he is easy because he has distinguishing features. What if I were trying to describe myself to someone? Greying, balding, looks worried all the... wait, I don't like the way this is going, lets try someone else. My mate Steve (the one who owes me the money). I haven't seen him for 20 years, but this is just an exercise so who cares. A black beard, fake looking and flecked with white, bad teeth, bad breath. I'm just sounding bitter now. 

It is impossible to describe anyone accurately so it is important to focus on their distinguishing features. Still, if I were trying to describe someone, who had run off with my wallet, to the police it would be very different from a description of a character I was fleshing out for a story. I could say: "she was pale and had a very long nose", or "her face was very white and the tip of her nose curved upwards and could be the perfect launch pad for any ski jumper". Utility or romance, you have to choose. Which is why I love B when she startles me with tales from the office.